Sighs.. Sometimes I really think to myself and wonder. Why am I practicing so hard when everyweek something crops up and we can't jam. Second week in a row without jamming already. In other words , I'm suddenly free again this friday. What the fuck man. From a whole day activity to a boring lonely day. Adi finishes school at 5 and so does Rei. So it's going to be a LONG way till I'm able to meet someone.

Took my results today , wasn't that great but consoling myself is that I'm within the higher end of my class. I placed 11 out of 32 people ? And was 38 among my level which has 99 people. So yeah.. If my results are this bad for prelims , maybe I should just change my mind about going to a JC. It's horrible results can. L1R4 got like what ? 33 points ? L1R5 get 42 . WTF ? It's more than 25 points . And we're talking about POINTS which means it's not even the marks. 1 point = 5 marks ? 25 x 5 = 125 marks ? =/ Where am I supposed to find that 125 marks! Argh!

Sighs... I'm really very disappointed with this kind of fucked up results . And like hell , it's not like I didn't study for this fucking exams. I studied till fucking late everynight and all and this is the kind of results I get. So much for reaping what you sow. Hur. I guess I should be going down to the hospital after I've found some food. :/ . Give me a call on my HP if you're free to meet up later in town or something . Sighs... Disappointing results + No jamming = Spoiling my fucking day . ARGH!

-What's the worst thing I could say?-
-Things are better if I stay.-
-So long and good night-
-So long and good night-

-Enjoy your day my little one-
-Give me a call when you need me-
-I promise you , I'll be there-
-Till the day you stop calling-
-I love you?-

Okay..This is the updated post that I promised when I was home. Okay. So yesterday I didn't go to school because I couldn't wake up. I finally woke up at 2 by urgent phone calls for me to go down to hospital to see my grandma. Don't exactly know what happened but she blacked out and after xrays , she has a 144cc blood clot in her head now. It's fucking huge , I swear.

Went down to Tan Tock Seng Hospital with my brother.Reached and found the rest of them waiting outside and realised that we couldn't go in together. Only 1 at a time. What kind of fucked up ruling is that ? Imagine YOUR loved one was lying there and you couldn't go in to see her/him. Then those fucking guards were like "you can't go by here. Go the other side" WTF LA. I'm just going in to see my grand ma. Do I look like a fucking terrorist to you ?! What's wrong with u la bitch.And what's the worst part ? They took more then 3 fucking hours to move her to the ICU can ?

Saw all the aunties and uncles whom I mostly haven't seen since chinese new year. So ya.. And at night they decided they were going to remove the life support from her today after my uncle comes back from Hong Kong. Went down today.. She wasn't on the life support anymore when I went down. Her heart beat dropped and raised like by alot. From 44 - 70 that kind of thing :(

It's really very painful to see her like that. Talked to can't remember who but I just found out toady that even if she went for the op or not , she will never regain consciousness. Which means , she's literally lying there waiting to die. According to doctors , she's not going through any pain.But how the fuck would they know. Have they been in that fucking state before ? I doubt so . And it's such a painful sight to see her in this condition. Please. If there's this thing called God , please do something about it. I really can't bear to see her like that any longer.

Hmm... Finally I changed the damn picture. Waiting for my bro to get ready and we're off to the hospital again... Kinda pissed off by those guards at the hospital but ah ya.. wtf.. I'll give a detailed post when I'm home the next time. :/ . Ok.. For now. I'm off.

Everything has been fucking up the past week. Took my results. and I did like fuck so ya.. Can't really care. Went for a gig on Friday at Third Place again. Hmm.. Started thinking about my current problems which of course isn't about her. And got emo again. Leon's birthday when almost as planned but with a little problems here and there so ya... Hmm.. I'm thinking if I should actually pull myself out of the band. I don't know as of yet.

Been waiting for her to sms for quite awhile. Her phone's spoilt :( so ya.. Don't think I'll be receiving smses from her . Sighs.. Kk for now I think I'll just sign off. going to meet up with adi soon.

Wow.. Been a really long time since I updated this blog huh.. Last week was filled with hardcore studying everyday due to the Mid years. So yeah.. Not much time for practice. But came along wednesday. After my classes at Jurong , I met my mum at Eunos MRT to Ah lee's place! Wow.. Hijacked a keyboard from him lol.. Saturday been a jamming day again.. Couldn't jam for long. Had another band who booked earlier like from 4-6 and we wanted like 3-5 . So we took the 3-4 slot. But with everybody late. it was like ah fucking half and hour only ?

I think I really am reaching the point of an alcoholic already. Together with cas . Lol... Total Chaos.

Note to self : Don't drink so much in a week. Not 3 days in a row getting high everynight.

Every single fucking thing I've done for you and now you say you've never felt this way before ? Hah. So much all the fucking time I gave up with my friends for you . Ah... Why should I even care. Jamming on Friday and Saturday was GREAT. Like wow! Everyone could do their parts. We even did abit of original progressive. Going to have a mini gig soon.. Currently the 3 songs In My Eyes , Friends of the Enemy and Warmness of the Soul. Maybe we're going to do 88 as well.. This few days been really eventful but mostly up with jamming and studying. Heh... I really don't know what I'm feeling now. Perhaps it's just a so called crush . Infatuation. Ah but wtf =/ . She's having issues at home now. Hopefully it'll be solved soon :) . All the best k gurl. I'll be here :D . Ok
I guess that's all for now. Back to trying to figure out our new song. Warmness of the soul. Wow. SOLO FOR ME! LIMELIGHT! HERE I COME! LOL.

hmm.. haven't been updating for a longgggg time.. My computer screwed up on me.. now using mum's computer. lol..

Thursday : Went for some stupid check up and i have some fucked up disorder. =/

Friday : Met up with my band mates for a talk

Saturday : Bought a new phone , met muh band mates at study corner , off to my place. Lol.. Finish 1 bottle of Absolut vodka in 20 minutes . lol

Sunday : A day filled with regrets. Lol.. Started off the day at 9am. Met the rest at iman. Den off to big splash. Lol.. After big splash , all of us body sun burnt and ass hurting like a bitch cause we tried stupid things. let's not go into details . lol.. Den off for cassandra's bbq . After that was drinking again at the beach. Off to Sean's place to stay for the night.

Monday : Woken up by an asshole who kicked me and started playing with his phone. Off to Macs to eat. Then NEL to potong pasir with sean and iain. Iain cabbed home. I came home to bathe. Then off to toa payoh to meet Iain who then changed his phone. Then off to study corner to study. Study half way , dunno who's big idea and shouted : " AH BO WE GO JAMMING LA! " So jam ... and now i'm home! booo.. how boring life can get. lol.. ok tata .