Ok.. Haven't been blogging for quite awhile already. So , let's see.. What have I been up to ? Nothing much . besides just being high everyday from Wednesday till today ? Excessive pill popping has been taking place in my life.

Maybe , if my life isn't the way it is , I wouldn't have gone back to abusing it. Maybe this and maybe that. But things are the way it is. And I don't know what I can say. Loads of unspoken words but anger and scars of self inflicted pain shown on me. I love pain. Pain for pleasure.

Waking up everyday isn't a chore anymore. I don't need to know what I have to do or do according to my plan. Just get high. Like I always tell others , No point saving money . You save a million dollars but die when you reached your goal , what's the point ? I had this dream of you and me, but I woke up alone. With no one by myside. Imagine my loneliness. The pain I felt. But well , I can't blame you can I ? You love him and he loves you. That's simple. But Selwyn had to complicate things. Aww... What an asshole he is.

I seriously can't wait for death. At least , for this moment in time now. I just don't want to face all these alone. Including you ignoring me.