I won't deny that I don't know what's happening to you. But who would know what's happening to you if you don't tell them anything ? I've been trying ever since god know when to understand you. But what is happening. I'm getting nothing. You have always claimed you do not know who it actually is. But tell me , deep down inside you already know. Tell me I'm right.

I'm sick and tired of trying for everything. Because nothing has been going right. It's always either me screwing up or someone else screwing up. It seriously is getting fucking irritating and I'm starting to get pissed off about everything. Hah. Was talking to Matt earlier on and he asked me what I want to do on my birthday. Started thinking again... What do I actually want to do on my birthday ? Who's going to spend it with me ? Will it be as special as the other 16 birthdays I had ? Or will it just be the worst.

Something in me tells me it's going to be the most fucked up birthday ever. Why ? I have no idea. It's just a feeling. Birthday in 2 weeks time with no plans , no cash and no friends at the moment. Haha. How stupid. Maybe , it's true. So what if it's my birthday ? It's just going to happen every year and after awhile , it loses it's meaning. The day I was born is the day trouble started appearing everywhere in my family.