Today isn't the best day ever. It's been a bitch so far. blah! I got awoken at unearthly hours to transfer $650. Went back to sleep for awhile. After that , On my way down to Marina square , Got into a motor accident. This fucking car which was on the second lane wanted to turn into a carpark. We were travelling on the first lane. And obviously to go into the carpark , he had to pass the first lane right ? I think he missed the turning or something , but ended up that we banged into him. A peugeot 307cc leh! CONVERTIBLE LEH! lol..

Sigh... Whole body aching for the whole day.. Josh wanted to bring me to hosital. But ended up with me saying MAN DON'T GO HOSPITAL! Lol.. Then tahan all the way. At night really pain until bth. Went to hospital for Xray. Guess what ? My collarbone broke.. Hur.. Blah.

Bahhhhhhhhhh!

Let's just skip everything that has been happening for the past weekend and just fast forward this post to the one I'm "dedicating" it to. What are the chances of him reading this ? I'm not sure. But I don't really give a fuck. Cause I just need an outlet.

Anyway , from the way you put things on our conversation last night , it seems to me that you want to be alone without having a worry with this group. So if that is what you really want , I'd give it to you. You say things want to say until like we're the one causing you all the trouble , then so be it. What more can I say. I can't force you to live in my way of thinking.

You want to be alone without any worries , or anyone to care for or anything to care for , then don't treat her the way you are treating her. It is totally not fair for her. Explain things to her. Because this I'm sure she will understand. And from here on , you need not worry anything about us. The labeled "Seh Kias". If what you want is to walk your own path while we walk ours , then here is where I shall say my final goodbye to you. This is the path you chose. But you know my character. As long as you need me and give me a call , I'd still be here for you.Oh yes. And all the best for your future endeavours.

I guess that's all I need/want to say for tonight. After all , I guess I'm pretty stressed out from studying and the coming exams. So yeah. I guess that's about it.

Be strong are the words you told me. Tell it to your girl. You need to be strong at this period of time...Whether you are together with him or not , you still have to be strong ok ? Some things you won't understand or you will never understand...

What's wrong with me ? Why am I so soft hearted ? Why do I fall for someone so easily. There's so many things going through my mind right now. But I don't know the answers, Just a few simple actions and I think I like you. Haha

Actually it has already been a long time but who cares. I'm going to die alone someday

I love you Nothing can explain my feelings for you right now. I woul treat you like the queen or the princess. But I will never have the chance to..
Right now ,,, things are just fucking up on me. but who caaares. just get high and forget the whole day that have past. Don't remember shit. isn't that the best thing eever.. Like losting or something. i want to dom somemore. Soon. When it is 3 i shall get lost in my own world..

Getting lost is the good . Disappearing from the face of this earth would be best.. Dying is like UNEXLAINABLE! What are friendssss for wen all they do is dua you.

I don't know wat i'm doing right noww but i don't really give a fuck. I caaare onlly about me and her. This her will neveer happen. But who caares..Losst

Signing out lost . So till then no more updates.

When you asked me why I was sad yesterday I felt like telling you the truth. I was waiting for your call. The call you promised. It never came. But yeah. What the fuck. Lol... As people always say , Promises are meant to be broken. :/ I try my best to keep promises. But I do break them.

Was studying last night like from 11+ till 3+. Then couldn't take it already. Left for my house. Then some CB KIA which I shall not mention my name here decided that he wanted to meet me , gab and rah. Gab was sick and so he went to sleep. Blah.

Blah. Off to raiders. Going to AMK tonight to study. Till then.... Tata!

Blah! I really don't know if what I said was the right thing. But who cares. Lol. I can already feel the strain on the friendship but there's really nothing I can do eh ? But oh well. If it's for the better for her then all the best ! Hmm...

Dying to get lost so badly. Lost not in the sense of 15 but missing from the surface of this earth. Maybe I would pull that act all over again. We'll see how it all goes. Well , I'm already feeling bad enough and it seriously isn't helping with friends breaking promises and stuff.

Was playing some game in the arcade and my hand's like all swelling and stuff now but ah! I don't give a flying fuck. Hahaha. Maybe I'll update again later or something. We'll see how my mood goes. Till then , I'll still be loving you.

It's hurting to know that I might never get my chance to be every thing you wanted. The hurt you are going through might be great. It might hurt so bad and it was never your fault. So you need not blame yourself.

But what I don't understand is that why I have to pay the price for another person's mistake. BLAH!

Nvm. I'm just talking shit. ilu.

Dying to get lost. Dying to disappear from the surface of this earth is all I know I'm feeling. It need not matter that things are getting worst for me. The feelings grew. But she will never be mine. Sounds so unlike me.. But it's just not right. and she would never like me. Blah!

Friday and Saturday was out again at Raiders. Working and playing around. Shouldn't it be time to study ? Oh sure yes. I'm going to get down to work after this. The rest of them are all behind playing games. Should I try asking them to study ? Or just not give a fuck ? It gets really hard asking someone to do something they dislike .

Oh well , I think , I'm loving you. But who gives a flying fuck. Definately not you. Blah blah blah. Ok. That's all for now. Off to do some maths..

The past few days has been rather emo days for me once again. Quarrels and emotional breakdowns are like becoming part of my life yet again. I can't seem to control my temper or my emotions any more. Not like the past. I can never be the same again. Just take me as I am and sweep me off my feet. I swear . I will be nice and be everything you ever wanted. Just promise me. You'll never break my heart.

A broken heart can never be mended. It's the same as a piece of glass. You break a glass , you can always glue it back together. BUT the fact is that these crack lines will always be there. I don't mind having the crack lines there. But who will be the one to glue my heart back together ? Will you be the one ? Obviously not.

Studied at the airport with the gang yesterday. We all decided that we had to learn things the hard way. So for every question we got wrong , we had to drink 1/3 a bottle of water. And only if you get more than 75% then you can go to the toilet. Thankfully , I only had to drink 2 bottles. Unlike Joshua and Ezra who drank like what ? 6 bottles ? lol. Came home in the morning to sleep. and woke up alone. Everyone wasn't home. Not my mum , dad or my brother. It was just me and my dog.

Went downstairs for dinner and realised that I am feeling pretty lonely. Was having dinner alone at the coffee shop then went over to study corner to just sit down waiting for the time to pass. I'm just feeling so empty. There this place in my heart that is so empty. Will anyone be the one to fill it ? Will the person who fills that empty place break my heart instead ? I promise you. I can be the one who give you everything you need. But just don't break it. Blah. Guess I'm going to study for abit before going to bed.

Would I ever get another chance to say I love you ? Would I ever have a chance to hold you in my embrace and tell you how much I love you ? You have messed up my life pretty badly but you don't seem to know about it. And since you don't seem to know about it , let's just keep it as that.

Haven't been blogging much myself. My computer at home just crashed on me and I've been pretty busy studying / working. Life has pretty much been on the down side this few weeks / days . The lonliness is starting to kick in once again. It's just that feeling I have again of losing someone. But like I always tell people , loving someone dosen't mean having that someone physically but having to see that someone happy. So , I don't have much of a choice but to live with it right ?

Feeling damn fucking tired now. Tonned the whole night last night and I'm working till 3am! Btw , I started work at 11. So , it's super what the fuck. Haha. Desperate for cash. Desperate for a hug. Missing the times where I could cuddle up with someone special , lazing around and whispering sweet nothings. Haha. Ok. That sounds damn wrong and super love sick. Ah well.. I'm off to do some maths for now I guess... Bye my faithful readers. My next update shouldn't come too long away.